i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He uses pillows to masturbate.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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