After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
