Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
