It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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