You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize