I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
