UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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