When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
