that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
