btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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