girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize