I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just cropdusted the office
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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