Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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