In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
