Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
