Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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