We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
