i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
the liver wants what the liver wants
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize