the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dicks are not precious.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
