we made out on top of his cat.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
