yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
