My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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