escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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