yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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