I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
