I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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