I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
