i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
