of course. lets lasso hookers.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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