scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
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