Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
