I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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