i don't like sucking hair
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
