I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
