I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
