she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
