she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
