my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
