don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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