Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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