I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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