would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
