My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sobbing to NWA
did i just pee glitter
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
