And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
