Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
