We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
A bitchslap is in order.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
