What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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