But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
