everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
