week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
