Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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