Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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