i jhust puked up my retainher.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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