Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
