Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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