That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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