i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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