Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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