"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
